You Know Trump’s Stupid But This Is Guaranteed To Blow Your Mind

Where are we again now? Oh, right, it’s the 24th of January. Trump was sworn in four days ago. He’s already had a bishop of a major religion publicly implore him to have mercy and stop scaring people to death and he’s had a Danish member of Parliament tell him Greenland’s not for sale and to “fuck off.”

You might say, “You can’t bottom this,” and to that I say, dear reader, hold my beer. Because what you are about to read in Dana Milbank’s column in the Washington Post is going to show you a level of ignorance and sheer stupidity that you haven’t seen before — not even from Trump. He is truly bottoming himself each and every day. And it’s only Day 4. And we’ve got 1,456 more to go.

On his first evening back in office, Trump invited reporters into the Oval Office, where he discussed his new decree that NATO members must spend 5 percent of their nation’s wealth on their militaries. (He perhaps is unaware that the United States spends only about 3 percent and would have to come up with another $500 billion annually to fulfill his edict.) Complaining about the “very low” military spending of Spain, Trump told his questioners: “They’re a BRICS nation, Spain. You know what a BRICS nation is? You’ll figure it out.” The 47th president then said that he would “put at least 100 percent tariff on the business they do with the United States.”

Spain, part of the European Union, is not a member of the “BRICS” bloc, short for Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa (but which, curiously, also includes Egypt, Ethiopia, Indonesia, Iran and the United Arab Emirates). But this, apparently, is news to our belligerent president.

The United States might not have been in a conflict with Spain since 1898, but Trump is not one to let bygones be bygones. Remember the Maine! “I don’t know if the affirmation made by President Trump was the result of a mix-up or not,” said a spokeswoman for the unnerved Spanish government.

Maybe he’ll “figure it out.” […]

The next evening brought more astounding ignorance from the chief executive. This time, he brought reporters into the Roosevelt Room to unveil a supposed $500 billion joint venture regarding artificial intelligence. But the ruse was exposed by none other than Trump sidekick Elon Musk, who proclaimed: “They don’t have the money.”

At the event, NBC News’s Peter Alexander asked Trump about why he had just pardoned D.J. Rodriguez, who shocked a police officer with a stun gun at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, and later boasted that he “tazzzzed the f— out of the blue.” The judge who sentenced Rodriguez to more than 12 years called him a “one-man army of hate, attacking police.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Trump replied. “Was it a pardon?”

Alexander reiterated that it was.

“Okay. Well, we’ll take a look at everything,” Trump said, though his pardons of this and other cop-beaters are irrevocable.

You may recall a story that ran back in 2017 about how one of Trump’s professors in college called him, “The goddamnest dumbest student I ever had.” Being a moron in a school one probably shouldn’t be in in the first place is one thing but being this level of a moron in the Oval Office? We are in trouble plenty.

Trump soon moved on to demanding that California “turn the valve” to allow more water to reach Los Angeles, where, he said, residents of Beverly Hills have been limited to 38 gallons of water per day. “When you’re a rich person, you like to take a shower. Thirty-eight gallons doesn’t last very long.”

There is no such “valve,” and no such water restrictions in Beverly Hills. But Trump skipped merrily from that error to another: Addressing a controversy that has split his staff members, he explained that he supports the H1-B visa program because it allows his properties to hire “maître d’s, wine experts, even waiters.” Thus did he apparently confuse the H1-B visa, covering those with technical expertise, with the H2-B, covering temporary workers.

Trump continued on, scolding the Biden administration for failing to negotiate a release of the hostages from Gaza “a year and a half, two years ago.” Good point! Biden should have secured the hostages’ freedom before they were taken captive on Oct. 7, 2023.

And it just goes on and on. During this same asinine *interview* Trump confused Bennie Thompson with Benny Johnson, who is a right-wing podcaster reportedly on Putin’s payroll.

This is vintage Trump. He knows NOTHING! He holds some talking points that he’s coached on in temporary memory for rallies or interviews but he actually knows nothing at all about key issues. He’s just winging it on the fly, day in and day out.

MAGA diehards love the chaos. Others who voted for Trump might feel, not for the last time, that they were sold a bill of goods. They wanted law and order and instead got a president blessing violence against police. They wanted a crackdown on illegal immigration and instead got a president turning away law-abiding migrants who waited in line for a chance to claim asylum. They believed Trump’s promises that he would bring peace to Gaza and end the war in Ukraine in 24 hours. But now, he says that he’s “not confident” about the Gaza ceasefire (“It’s not our war”), and admits that “I don’t know” whether Russian leader Vladimir Putin wants to resolve the Ukraine conflict.

Above all, Trump supporters voted for a president who would remember the “forgotten man and woman” of the working class. Instead, they elected one who seated the oligarchs — Musk, Jeff Bezos (who owns The Post), Mark Zuckerberg, Sundar Pichai, Tim Cook and TikTok’s Shou Zi Chew — at his inauguration in front of his own Cabinet nominees. The next day, Trump, joined at the White House by three more billionaires, extolled the corrupt era of the robber barons, “when our country was at its richest.” (It wasn’t.) The forgotten man can also forget about disaster relief: Trump suggested to Hannity on Wednesday night that “FEMA is going to be a whole big discussion very shortly, because I’d rather see the states take care of their own problems.”

Oh, and as for Trump’s promise to reduce prices for Americans? He issued a vague and meaningless executive order proclaiming that agencies should “deliver emergency price relief.” Problem solved!

Keep your ears tuned for “emergency price relief.” This is a true Orwellian howler. Hit the link and read it. You won’t know whether to laugh or cry.

I hereby order the heads of all executive departments and agencies to deliver emergency price relief, consistent with applicable law, to the American people and increase the prosperity of the American worker.  This shall include pursuing appropriate actions to:  lower the cost of housing and expand housing supply; eliminate unnecessary administrative expenses and rent-seeking practices that increase healthcare costs; eliminate counterproductive requirements that raise the costs of home appliances; create employment opportunities for American workers, including drawing discouraged workers into the labor force; and eliminate harmful, coercive “climate” policies that increase the costs of food and fuel.  Within 30 days of the date of this memorandum, the Assistant to the President for Economic Policy shall report to me and every 30 days thereafter, on the status of the implementation of this memorandum.

“Eliminate unnecessary administrative expenses and rent-seeking practices that increase healthcare costs.” WTF??? This is screaming GIBBERISH!! I don’t pretend to know who drafted this idiocy but I am going to assume it was done for two purposes only: entertain Trump’s inner circle and drive the yous and mes screaming up the walls.