Trump’s Ultimate Inauguration Day Humiliation Is Hilarious
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Sometimes there just isn’t any other explanation. Sure you can talk about karma, payback, divine retribution, the Age of Aquarius and magic Elbin crystals. But when you look up to the skies, all you can see in your heart and your mind is the Hands of God, flipping somebody double barrel birds. Hopefully not you.
And this is one of those times. On Monday, January 20th, 2025, Donald Convicted Felon Trump will raise his right hand, put an asbestos gloved left hand on the Holy Bible to keep it from spontaneously combusting, and turn a solemn oath into sacrilege. Then he’ll give a rambling 90 minute free association travesty in front of a National Mall crowd about the size of the waiting line to take a leak in the Men’s room at Wrigley Field in September, and then cop a golf cart ride back to the White House.
All of which will be breathlessly covered by the national media as well as the networks. Which is nice. The death of our Republic should get gavel-to-gavel coverage. And by 8:00 PM EST they’ll be breathlessly covering the 648 slush fund Inaugural events Trump is busy feathering his nest with. This one should really be fun, since I highly doubt that the DJ dude with the drum set will be there, since Traitor Tot stiffed him on the fee the last time. Geez, I hope Pat Boone and Ted Nugent are in fine voice.
But here’s the McGuffin. At 8:00 PM EST on Monday, January 20th, 2025, They will kick-off the 2024-25 NCAA National Championship game. My beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish are going up against the Ohio State Bluebells Buckeyes. Most of the early lines I’ve seen have the game as a toss-up, ensuring heavy interest.
Which is moot. Because if there’s one thing this country is, it’s football batsh*t crazy. For 12 weeks there’s a Friday night NCAA game, and more than a dozen broadcast on Saturdays across multiple networks. All day Sunday, Sunday nights, Monday nights, and Thursday nights are 18 weeks of NFL games. And then the bowl games and playoffs start.
Only El Pendejo Pesidente Don can f*ck up a one-car-funeral this badly. And there is no malice here, this is purely an accidental quirk in the scheduling. Inauguration Day is mandated by the US Constitution, and ever since the college playoffs started several years ago, the NCAA playoff weekends are set in stone. This is more like Divine Intervention.
But you have to admit, the end result is delicious. Here’s the most egocentric maniac narcissist in psychiatric history. Inauguration day and all of the glitz and glamour should be the brightest jewel in his tarnished ego crown. And instead he’s going to get his fat ass kicked in the ratings over some stupid college football game, and the ballrooms are going to sound like an aviary with all the cheeps and chirps of score alerts going off in just about every cell phone in the dump. I swear, it almost gives one the courage to go and soldier through.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
